Minas Tirith Times-- Classifieds

Section 1 – NOTICES

IN MEMORIAM
We won't forget
Our old king yet.
Your horse squashed you.
We feel so blue.
Love, Eomer, Eowyn, Merry and the gang.

WHAT fun, What fun, look who's eleventy-one!

NOTICE is hereby given that the Annexed Lands, formerly know as The Shire, are now the property of the Forces of Darkness. All hobbits are given 30 days to vacate premises.

ROOMS AVAILABLE by the week, month, Age. Apply to Elrond.

Section 2 – HELP WANTED

HELP WANTED: Handyman/Jack of All Trades or Gal Friday to accompany Ringbearer on probably fatal quest. Wages nominal, but great sense of personal accomplishment
possible. Loyalty, self-abnegation, cooking skills a plus.
Starting Sept. 22nd.

HOBBIT LADS 18-35. Learn a skill, travel, be part of exciting new changes in the Shire. Contact The Chief, Bag End.

HELP WANTED: We cannot get out. We cannot get out.  Apply in person to Mines of Moria.

Section 3 – LOST & FOUND

LOST: One gold Ring, no stone, resembles Man's wedding band, inscription, great sentimental value.

FOUND: Two hobbits (unless they're orcs) in Fangorn Forest.

FOUND: One Ring, gold. Describe to claim.

LOST, somewhere in vicinity of Gondor, one King.  Answers to Aragorn. Or Strider. Or Elessar. Has Many Names.

LOST: One ring, gold, w/inscription. Very Precious to owner.


Section 4 – FREE

TO GOOD HOME: Shadowfax, king of horses.

Former Ringbearer, rather ugly, definitely crazy -- do a good deed?

SWORD, Broken, may be Forged Again. You take away.  Claimant must arrange own forging.


Section 5 - PERSONALS

SMW, 21K, 5’4", white/blue, ISO Ringbearer for headgames, more 

SMH, Stoor, 3'2", balding, about 500, seeks Precious.

SWF, shieldmaiden, tired of losers, brigands and
drunks, seeks knight in shining armor.

SME, still too young for the Wise, seeks SMD for
adventures in Rohan and Gondor, some Orc-slaying, battles, possible sailing and...?

BWD, 139, short, stout, strong, Durin's line, seeks
EF, 7,000 or older, or EM, 500 or younger, into hiking, camping, romantic candlelight, slaying orcs

YOU - A beautiful elf-maiden, born in the Second Age,
but you sure don't look it! Me - a displaced King-turned-ranger who was freeloading at your father's place. Our eyes met, I thought there was some magic there. Answer to Elessar, Box 52.

SMH, 33 going on 50, seeks gardener for long walks in
the woods, mountain climbing, epic quests. Willingness
to go Over Sea a must!

Section 6- SERVICES

EAGLES, to/from Gondor, Mordor, Eriador, points
between. Low fares, best rates; group/package plans
available.