Well life on Privet Drive is kinda laid back 
Ain't much a big Muggle boy like me can't hack 
Not early to rise, nor early in the sack 
Thank God I'm a Muggle boy 

Well a pampered Muggle life never did me no harm 
A pickin' on the smaller kids -- I fill them with alarm 
Controllin' my parents with my only-child charm 
Thank God I'm a Muggle boy 

Well I got me an appetite that gets me in trouble 
First a pig's tail, then a tongue-size-double 
Wizard kid blew up my aunt like a bubble 
Thank God I'm a Muggle boy 

When school's all done and the sun's settin' low 
I round up my posse and we go and spread some woe 
Vandalizin', scandalizin', takin' it slow 
Thank God I'm a Muggle boy

The guys in my posse all call me big D 
Neighbor kids know enough to run away from me 
My parents think I'm at the Polkisses' for tea 
Thank God I'm a Muggle boy 

Well I got me an appetite that gets me in trouble 
First a pig's tail, then a tongue-size-double 
Wizard kid blew up my aunt like a bubble 
Thank God I'm a Muggle boy 

Well I'd sure like to have a heap of diamonds and jewels 
I never understood them wizardin' fools 
I'd rather have my toys than an attic full of ghouls 
Thank God I'm a Muggle boy 

Yeah, city folk drivin' in a black limousine 
A lotta us Dursleys thinkin' that's mighty keen 
Tortoise through a glass roof, you know what I mean? 
Thank God I'm a Muggle boy 

Well I got me an appetite that gets me in trouble 
First a pig's tail, then a tongue-size-double 
Wizard kid blew up my aunt like a bubble 
Thank God I'm a Muggle boy 

Well, try messing with the Dursleys, that's the day you'll die 
We're never going over to anybody's side 
I ain't got a wand but I got Muggle pride 
And thank God I'm a Muggle boy 

My daddy taught me young how to bully and to cheat 
To make sure that my cousin never gets a single sweet 
Gave me my Smelting stick and showed me who to beat 
Thank God I'm a Muggle boy 

Well I got me an appetite that gets me in trouble 
First a pig's tail, then a tongue-size-double 
Wizard kid blew up my aunt like a bubble 
Thank God I'm a Muggle boy 
Thank God I'm a Muggle boy!