Verse One: Ron "Puff" Weasley

Now... what y'all wanna do?
Wanna be Beaters? Chase Bludgers?
Chasers think they scorin' wit' them little ten-pointers
Some think I'm a scruffy rapscallion
Tryin' to get my hands on a single Galleon
Yeah livin' the raw deal second-hand books
Slytherins givin' me snotty looks
But now I'm out on the Quidditch field
And I don't let the Quaffle in; that's real
But when I did Slytherins got merry
Sang their song, so my teammates Fred, George and Harry
Stomped that Draco Malfoy, but the faculty heard
They're banned from the Quidditch field for life, that's the word
Now it's just me and Ginny and some no-good Beaters
But we can still stomp Slyth'rin cheaters
It's all about the Golden Snitch, what?
I keep the Quaffle out but that don't win the game
Seekers get the glory all the same
And the pay for a Keeper is measly
F*** bein' a broke Weasley